Time and Kali

"The form of Kali transmits the force of making a clean cut with the past, the edge of focused rage." - Coleman Barks, The Soul of Rumi

Years ago I first became interested in Kali. Kali and Shiva are the gods that comprise Shivaic tradition. Her name literally means "black time," and represents annihilation. In modern tradition she simply represents time, but in the past there is a violence to her that is unavoidable. She is the force that wants complete devotion and if she receives any less will destroy mercilessly. She is the embodiment of the consuming aspects of reality.

The quote above is from a collection of Rumi's poetry. When I first became interested in her I, don't laugh, wanted a tattoo of her on my body. Most likely just the sanskrit since she is depicted pitch black, with a belt of skulls, standing over Shiva with swords in her 8 arms with blood dripping from them. I'm not really the type of guy that would work for. I've meditated on Kali, I've considered why I'm drawn to her, and I've never been able to put it into words. I do love the reminder of time being finite and destructive, but that never seemed to be enough. I always felt unsatisfied as I explained the concept to someone. Generally their reaction was a feigned sort of understanding or worse, "Yeah that sounds sick!" Not that I've ever gone around preaching about Kali to strangers.

I am fascinated with the darker aspects of humanity and the world. I believe deeply that there is something to be gained from looking at what most people avoid. I think that being aware of your eventual death is a hugely valuable skill, one that our culture avoids. We are meant to be happy all of the time, yet deep down we know eventually everything we love will die and everything we build will be destroyed or forgotten. A superficial relationship with this fact means your response is well what is the point? Or why bother? A deeper understanding of it sees the potential and power hidden within this belief. Our existential awareness can lead to a sense of vertigo and the insurmountability of that fact, but I think within it is our greatest gift.

I am doing my best to avoid the cliches but essentially what is beautiful and unique about humanity is a part of us is filled with doubt, fear, knowledge of eventual failure, and awareness of our own imminent death. In the face of that we strive for whatever it is we believe in, be it social, artistic, political change, or just the pursuit of a life well-lived.

I think that at the time I stumbled upon Kali I was looking for a way to make a clean cut with my past. Again I think this is a moment in my life where this opportunity has re-presented itself. I want to take this time to step apart from my regrets, failures, and ideas from the past so as to make room and gain perspective for whatever life may come.