It's been awhile since I left you with a new beat to step to

Well, I turned 24, went through a bizarre breakup with the girl I was seeing and seem to generally be back on track. Sometimes I'm lonely but whatever. In the past couple weeks I have finished reading Running with Scissors, The Power of Now,The Life of Pi, and something I can't remember. Running with Scissors was interesting simply because of the total madness of Augusten's life growing up. He went from a really abusive parental situation, to a totally insane house run by his mother's psychologist. There's a ton of controversy surrounding the story but who knows or cares whether it is true. There's a good amount of dead-pan description which contrasts nicely with the action in the narrative.
The Power of Nowis really phenomenal. Essentially, Eckhart Tolle argues that the reason that people feel pain is because they identify with their egos and operate on psychological time instead of living in the now. He says that the ego is woefully inadequate for our continued survival on this planet because it constantly needs MORE to survive and is constantly threatened by any change or challenge. Deep down Tolle says that everyone is complete, and this belief is something I've drawn out of Tantra , that deep down we are perfect gods. It is all the shit on top of it, all the mind games about how we should be or how things ought to be, or hanging onto situations mentally long after they have passed. The ego draws its identity from the past, so people hang onto their problems or their traumas as a way of being them. Tolle asks that we drop that bullshit and see that really if anything we wind up being more of ourselves than we were before, by being in the moment and completely accepting what is, we open ourselves up to a deep joy that every creature naturally experiences.

A great cross-pollination of messianic teachings as well as some Jungian psychology helped create this book, and my favorite quote is this: "Carl Jung tells in one of his books of a conversation he had with a Native American chief who pointed out to him that in his perception most white people have tense faces, staring eyes, and a cruel demeanor. He said: "They are always seeking something. What are they seeking? The whites always want something. They are always uneasy and restless. We don't know what they want. We think they are mad."

It really nails in the importance of accepting NOW and being present NOW because really this is the only time. Tomorrow when you wake up will be the now, today right now is the now, and what you do now sows the seeds for whatever goals you have - BUT if you realize you are complete those goals are playful hopes and not desperate needs, no longer do you think that once you accomplish this goal or that goal will you feel truly fulfilled. YOU NEVER WILL if you don't NOW.

Anyways, onto The Life of Piwhich has me really excited to go to the zoo! It is the story of Pi, a young Indian kid who is a christian, muslim, and hindu, who in the process of moving from India to Canada with his family becomes trapped on a boat with a huge tiger. There's enough knowledge of animals and their habits and a fascinating argument for why zoos are actually good for animals, which I don't wholly buy esp. when you consider apes or other animals capable of complex thought and memory storage. It is a book about faith, and about the story you tell yourself about your life. God is framed as a story people tell themselves, there is no argument about whether it is true or not, but which story do you prefer, the one where you are alone and possibly meaningless or the one where there is an all-powerful deity watching over you? I believe in god as an expression of the limitless not as a person watching us and rooting for us, but this book is a great piece of fiction and also seems to have a Jungian undercurrent. The book also pounds home the idea that people can get used to anything, as Pi did in his fight for survival. Definitely worth checking out.

I am currently reading The Autumn of the Patriarchwhich is simply amazing. Marquez doles out languid sentence after languid sentence, sentences stretch out for pages as he recounts the story of this dictator who becomes a symbol of all the greatness and awfulness within man. It is beautiful and horrifying and possibly one of the best books I have ever read.

I am currently saving money for a trip to either Sydney or South America. I don't speak Spanish yet so we shall see. I'm listening to Feist - Reminder, who reminds us how tremendously talented Broken Social Scene is. I'm working out and enjoying life while I toy with a friend's concept for a novel. Much love.